


we're sick (like animals)

by purgatorymaybe



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: F/M, Female Sidney Crosby, Rule 63, Secret Relationship, Sid still has the C, Women in the NHL, implied assistant athletic trainer geno, kind of, this is both longer and shorter than i thought it would be, werewolves are known but rare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24384652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purgatorymaybe/pseuds/purgatorymaybe
Summary: (title taken from Animal by Neon Trees)"Oh, you have to deal with an uncomfortable bodily change once a month?" Sidney scoffs. "Poor baby." Doctor Rivera snorts, and her eyes are twinkling when she meets Sid's grin.
Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66
Collections: The 2020 Sid/Geno Exchange





	we're sick (like animals)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [slightlyoutoftime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/slightlyoutoftime/gifts).



> I am proud (and exhausted) to announce that this is a whopping 8.1 page word document

Sidney wakes up to her phone ringing and an incessant pounding at her front door. She moans, scrunching her eyes and slapping her hand around the nightstand for her phone. It stops ringing, but the knocking at the door doesn’t. Her phone starts up again as soon as she gets it into her hand and she cracks open an eye to accept the call and put it on speaker. “Nh,” she grunts.  


“Sid,” a voice says insistently. “Where you at?”  


“Geno,” Sid sighs. “It’s the middle of the night, what do you want?”  


“Sid, please, there was big- big dog. It bite me, is- is bad, Sid, please.”  


Sidney turns onto her back, breathing in deeply through her nose. “So go to a fucking hospital, man, what can I do?”  


“Sid,” Geno whispers. “Don’t think it was just big dog.”  


Sidney’s breath catches in her throat. “Geno,” she whispers, sitting up, the rush of blood pounding in her ears. “What are you saying?” She hears his throat click and his breathing speed up. “Geno,” Sid whispers again. “I’m gonna be right down, okay? Stay right where you are.”  


“Nowhere else to go,” Geno says softly.  


Sid stops just shy of her bedroom door, fingers hovering over the doorknob. “Just stay on the line with me.” She tries not to run in the hallway but once she gets to the stairwell it's all she can do to get to the ground level and she stumbles over the bottom step. “Shit.”  


“Sid?”  


“I’m okay,” she breathes. “Just tripped on the stairs, I’m alright. I’m almost to the door.”  


She opens the door as she ends the call and stops dead in her tracks, eyes frozen on the blood staining the shirt Geno has wrapped around his forearm. “Oh god, Geno,” she breathes. She blinks and comes back to her senses, stepping to the side and waves him in frantically. “In, in, c’mon, Jesus.” She pokes her head out the door, scanning the street, but she doesn’t see anyone so she shuts the door and turns both locks. She takes a moment to collect herself, resting her forehead against the door and breathing in deeply.  


“Okay,” Sid breathes, turning around. “Game plan. We’ll clean you up here, then take you to the ER to have the doctors look at it. Staff will probably call the police for us, but we should ask for it anyway.” Her head snaps up to where Geno’s standing, leaning against the arch in the entryway. “Have you called Mario? Stewart? Anyone in the front office?” She frowns a little when she shakes his head. She sees how pale his face is, how his hand is gripping the wound so tight his fingers are white. She bites the inside of her lip and walks toward him slowly. “Okay,” she says softly. “That’s okay. We can call them from the hospital too.” She carefully takes hold of the elbow of Geno’s uninjured arm. “Right now we need to focus on cleaning and stabilizing that bite. Okay?”  


“Okay, Sid,” Geno answers shakily. He follows her to the hall bathroom and sits stock still on the toilet while Sidney pulls out the huge tackle box she repurposed into an extensive first aid kit. She wets a washcloth with warm water and pulls out a strip of alcohol wipes. She touches his knee to get his attention.  


“We need to remove the shirt,” she says softly. “So I can clean the blood around it to get a better look. Can I do that, please?”  


Geno’s hand tightens around the shirt for a moment before his grip loosens, and he helps Sidney gently peel it away. She dumps it into the trash bin shooting him an apologetic glance. He shrugs, wincing slightly as Sidney starts wiping first at the dried blood at the edges. She peeks up after every other swipe of the cloth, but Geno’s eyes are stuck straight ahead and glazed over. She’s removed as much of the blood as she could but the bite wound is still bleeding sluggishly. She glances over while she rinses off her hands to see Geno’s head hanging low, chin to chest.  


“Hey,” Sidney startles, wiping her hands on her shirt and kneeling back down in front of him. She holds up his head with her left hand and smacks the opposite cheek lightly with her right, sitting back on her heels when he opens his eyes and glares.  


“Tired,” Geno grumbles. “Let me sleep.”  


“You know I can’t do that.” Sidney bites her lip, tapping her fingers against her  
thighs. “I’ve cleaned up as much as I can with plain water.” She holds up the alcohol wipes, noting how Geno’s eyes flicker warily between her and the packets. “I can disinfect it here, or we can just wrap it and head out to the hospital. Your choice.”  


“Disinfect now is best,” Geno concedes reluctantly. “Don’t want to risk infection.”  


“I figured.” Sid rips open one of the packets and reaches for Geno’s arm, but doesn’t make contact just yet. “I don’t have to tell you it’s going to sting like a bitch, right?”  


“I’m not baby,” Geno snorts. “Can handle it.”  


Sid makes the first swipe, right on the edge, and rolls her eyes when he yelps. “Not a baby my ass,” she mutters. He digs his toes into her side (she does not _squeal_ ), and Sidney finds herself pleased to note that Geno’s cheeks have a little more color in them than earlier. Neither of them speak while she disinfects and wraps the wound, but she can feel Geno’s eyes on her the whole time.  


* * *

They don’t talk on the way to the hospital, but Sidney puts the radio on low so they’re not sitting in complete silence either. Geno clears his throat and turns the volume knob down lower, so Sid almost can’t hear it.  


“We don’t have werewolves in Magnitogorsk.” Sid catches his frown in her peripheral. “Not good ones, anyway.”  


Sidney frowns herself. “Good ones-“ she’s confused for all of a second and a half before she gets what he’s trying to say. Her pulse rabbits and her hands clench the wheel so hard her knuckles go white. “You mean they-“  


“Killed them,” Geno says blankly. “The lucky ones, they run. Most make it out of Russia. Some get stuck in woods or mountains, and- and die.”  


Sidney swallows. “And the ones who survive that?”  


Geno’s voice is barely louder than the radio when he says, “Hunted.”  


And then they’re at the ER.  


* * *

“Hi, welcome to UPMC Passavant, what happens to be-“ the tech looks up from his computer and stops in his tracks, his cheeks pinking up. “Sidney Crosby,” he squeaks. 

“What can-“ he clears his throat, and when he speaks next his voice is significantly deeper. “What can I do for you?”  


Geno snorts, and Sidney kicks her heel back to connect with his shin. The kid flushes again, but when he opens his mouth again his voice is back to normal. “What can I do for you,” he repeats.  


There aren’t many other people in the waiting room, and they all seem to be occupied with their own medical problems, but Sidney leans over the raised counter anyway. “My friend here,” she whispers, pointing her thumb over her shoulder at Geno, “was _bitten_.”  


“A rogue?” The kid’s eyebrows almost reach his hairline. “But there hasn’t been a rogue ‘wolf in Pittsburg in like, twenty years.”  


“I know,” Sid frowns. “Which is why I’m going to call the police station and get a couple officers down here. And if we’re moved by then just let them know where, okay?”  


“Yes, ma’am.” The kid- his nametag reads Jeremy Reid- hands her a clipboard with a couple papers and a pen. “I just need you to fill out this form, along with a government-issued ID, sign the second page, and I’ll put you into the system.” Reid glances behind Sid. “And I’ll make a note that it’s an urgent case as well.”  


“Thank you,” Sid nods. Geno hands the kid his ID and she leads them to a couple of chairs, out of the way- and hopefully earshot- of everyone else. “You call Stew and I’ll take Mario and the PD?” Geno grimaces, but he nods anyway and pulls out his phone. 

She waits until he’s got Stew- or his voicemail- on the line before she hits Mario’s speed dial.  


“Sid?” Mario’s tinny, groggy voice travels through the earpiece. “Is everything okay?"  


"I'm fine," she assures him. "I'm okay, but I'm at the hospital with Geno. Evgeni Malkin?"  


"I know who Geno is," Mario confirms, amused. Sid hears something rustling- the sheets, probably- and another voice- Nathalie's. "Is Geno okay?"  


Sidney shifts in her seat, her foot catching around Geno's ankle. He raises his eyebrows, off the phone with Stew and now filling out the intake form. "Geno got bit," she whispers. "We think it was a rogue. I'm gonna call the PD over soon as I'm off the phone with you."  


"Do you want me to come down? Keep you company, trade shifts in case they decide it is what you think it is?"  


Sidney wrinkles her nose. "No, we don't want to draw too much attention. Just me, we can say I was just helping out a friend. You coming in too would just raise too many red flags."  


"Helping out a friend, huh," Mario asks dryly. "At almost three in the morning?"  


"Look," Sidney pinches the bridge of her nose. "Let Jen know what's up so she's not blindsided and kills us all. I've got Geno handled."  


"Okay," Mario acquiesces. "You let Chris Stewart know, or should I?"  


"Geno called him earlier." Sidney slouches, and pulls her feet in to let Geno pass to turn in the clipboard. "God, Mario," she groans. "The fuck kinda mess are we in?"  


Mario chuckles. "I'm sure Jen will let you know exactly how much when she calls you. In the meantime, keep me updated, will you? I'll talk to Mike and Jim for you, let them know you might not be making it to practice later today."  


“Thanks,” she murmurs. “And will do. Tell Nathalie and the kids I said hi and I love them.”  


“Of course. Take care, kiddo.”  


“You too.” Sid ends the call and closes her eyes, resting her head back against the wall. She wedges her phone between her thigh and the chair and takes Geno’s left hand into her right, lacing their fingers together.  


“Sid-“  


“I don’t care,” she says quietly, eyes still closed. “I really, honestly, couldn’t care less right now.” She turns her head to the side and blinks a few stubborn tears out of her eyes. “Rogue attacks are rare,” she whispers. “And they always end terribly and I can’t stop thinking about how lucky you were, and how so much worse it could’ve gone, and I-“ she shudders, hiding her face in his shoulder. “God,” she laughs wetly, pulling back and wiping her face with her sleeve. “What a time to realize I wanna fuckin’ marry you, eh?”  


Geno kisses her knuckles, his own eyes looking like they’re starting to water, looking like he’d propose right on the spot if he could. And god, Sidney realizes, warmth spreading through her like a good cup of cocoa, she’d fucking let him too, if it wouldn’t give Jen a monster of a heart attack.  


“Evgeni Malkin?”

Geno grimaces at the mispronunciation like it physically pains him. Sid suppresses a giggle that turns into a snort and Geno smiles at her so softly she’s afraid he might actually propose to her right there. Sid detangles their hands to pick up her phone, but as soon as it’s safely in her front pocket she grabs his hand again and the blush on his face is almost enough to forget where they are and why.  


Almost.  


The woman at the door is warm smiles and greets them with a quiet, soothing voice that doesn’t grate on Sidney’s sleep-deprived nerves.  


“I’m Dr. Lucy Rivera,” she shakes Sid’s hand and pats Geno’s elbow, not even taking a glance at their joined hands; Sid likes her already. “I’m kind of the resident supernatural expert around here.” Dr. Rivera makes a face and a so-so gesture with her hand. “Well, technically I’m one of four here at Passavant, but I also got my Master’s in supernatural history, so I’m usually the first person they call for this kind of stuff.”

“You get lots of this? Ah, _обортэнь_ attacks?”  


“Attacks like yours, with just a bite and some scratches, are extremely rare.” Dr. Rivera directs them into a room near the end of the hallway. “And ones in residential areas are nearly unheard of. Rogues tend to stick to less populated areas, like mountains or forests.” She turns to Sidney. “The file said you were calling the police in to make a report? Did they give you an ETA?”

“Oh,” Sid blinks. “I haven’t called yet, but I’ll do that right away.” She’s hesitant to leave Geno. She knows it’s irrational, but she feels like if she leaves him alone for even one second something will immediately go wrong.  


Dr. Rivera smiles reassuringly. “I promise that Mr. Malkin is safe in here. An RN will be here shortly to check his vitals and collect some samples to send to the lab. If you’re not back by then we’ll send someone to get you. Okay?”  


Sid looks to Geno, helpless.  


“I’m okay,” he murmurs, and cracks a smile. “I’m not a baby.”  


“Not a baby my ass,” she replies. “Okay. I’m gonna go. I’m gonna call the station. And I’ll be right back, okay?”  


Geno rolls his eyes and punches her shoulder playfully. “Sid, just go.”

Sid’s halfway out the door before she strides back in, presses a firm, chaste kiss to Geno’s lips, mutters “use your fucking chapstick”, and is out the door and googling the nearest precinct before he can even think of responding.  


* * *

They want to keep him overnight.  


“It’s just a precaution,” Dr. Rivera repeats. “It’s going to take a bit for the test results to come back, and we’re trying to take every precaution we can.” She sighs, dragging a chair over to sit in front of Sidney. “Look,” she says firmly. “I get that you’re worried, I do. But this is an extremely delicate, not to mention unprecedented situation. You need to let us do our jobs so that we can ensure that Mr. Malkin’s condition remains stable.” Dr. Rivera pauses, making sure that Sidney is looking at her when she adds, “No matter the outcome.”  


* * *

As promised, Mario doesn’t knock on Geno’s door (they moved him up from the ER right after breakfast), but Nathalie does, and gently shoves Sidney out of the room, using her Mom Voice™ to tell her to go home and shower (after letting Sid bawl her eyes out all over Nathalie’s nice suit jacket).  


Sidney’s plan was to take a quick, cursory shower, shove an apple in her mouth, and get right back out the door.  


That doesn’t happen.  


She nearly falls asleep in the shower so she lets Nathalie know she’s going to take a quick nap and then she’ll be right back and sets an alarm for thirty minutes.

When she wakes up the sun is starting to set and her phone chimes with a text.

From: G [test results are back]

“Shit,” Sid breathes. She rushes to redress, not caring that her shirt is on backward or that she didn’t slip on socks before her sneakers, and she almost trips down the stairs again, but once she’s in her car she draws the line at breaking every traffic law, despite desperately wanting to.

She tries to be polite to the staff on shift on her way up to Geno’s room but she’s afraid her cursory smiles turn out more like grimaces. She finds Geno’s room easily, dropping down heavily next to Nathalie on the couch.

“How many times since I left has he used that bathroom,” Sidney asks wryly. As if on cue, the toilet flushes and the faucet starts up.

“More times than I’d like to count,” Nathalie replies in the same tone. “Those damn IVs, huh?”

Sid chuckles, tilting her head back to rest against the back of the couch. “Tell me about it.”

Geno walks out of the bathroom in a hospital gown and Sid knows it’s nothing, that he probably just wanted something more comfortable to sleep in, but she can’t help the way her throat constricts and her eyes water. “Hey,” she croaks.

Nathalie pats Sid’s thigh and presses a dry kiss to her temple. “Now that you’re safely back, I’m gonna go make sure the kids haven’t burned down the house in my absence. Call me or Mario when you can.” She hugs Geno on her way out, surprising him and Sid both.

They watch each other for a few moments. Sid pats the seat Nathalie vacated and curls into Geno’s side once he’s sitting down.

“How the bite,” she asks quietly.

“Itchy,” Geno murmurs. He kisses along her hairline. “Heard you took big nap.”

Sidney snorts, devolving into the awkward goose-honking laugh she hates but apparently everyone else adores. “Yeah,” she sighs, once the giggles have subsided. “Guess I really needed it.” She moves her head the slightest bit, nosing the underside of his jaw. “What about you? You get any rest while I was gone?”

“No,” he grumbles. “Stupid IV making me piss all the time.” Sid could feel his grin against her head as she laughed again, and she doesn’t want to burst the nice bubble they have going on, but-

There are four quick knocks on the door and Dr. Rivera pokes her head in. “Sidney, great, you’re back. Let’s go over Mr. Malkin’s test results.”

Well. Bubble officially burst.

Sidney sits up reluctantly, nodding. She can feel her fingernails digging into the meat of her thigh but she can’t let go, she can’t stop, the bite’s infected, Geno’s going to die, she needs to calm down, but she _can’t_ , why can’t she just _fucking_ -

Geno pinches the back of her hand, bringing her back. She takes his hand into hers, palms touching, fingers interlocking, and takes a deep inhale through her nose. “Give us the news, Doc. Rip off the band-aid.”

Dr. Rivera sits on the edge of Geno’s hospital bed and hands over the clipboard. “Congratulations,” she says wryly. “You’re a werewolf.” She ignores Sidney and Geno’s silent tussle for custody of the clipboard- which Geno wins, by virtue of him being the one who had a Master’s degree and could probably actually read the charts. “Good news is even by ‘wolf standards Mr. Malkin is in good health. You’ll have a higher metabolism, higher body temperature, and ocular faculties will be closer to that of a regular wolf than a human. Also, despite popular culture’s insistence otherwise, you will _not_ heal faster than humans, and you will _not_ be subjected to either a heat or a rut.

Sid grimaced and Geno groaned, slouching, and hiding his face in his hands. “This is going to be _worst_ ,” he despairs.

"Oh, you have to deal with an uncomfortable bodily change once a month?" Sidney scoffs. "Poor baby." Doctor Rivera snorts, and her eyes are twinkling when she meets Sid's grin.

“That one’s actually a myth,” she informs them. “And that one can be good news or bad news, depending on the way you look at it.”

Geno sits up slowly. “How can it be both?”

Dr. Rivera eyes the two of them critically. “Well, since only roughly ten percent of the population is a ‘wolf, we haven’t come to this realization until about seventy-five years or so ago, but werewolves aren’t limited to full moons for shifting. It’s possible that with enough time and the right resources, you’ll be able to shift at will.”

“Wait,” Sidney frowns. “That sounds like a really good deal. How could it be bad?”

“Because it’s not an automatic, once-a-month kind of deal,” Dr. Rivera explains patiently. “Shifting is going to require extreme control and effort, and it’s going to have to work both ways. It might be easy to go from ‘wolf to human, but difficult to go back to human, and vice versa.” She leans forward, elbows on knees, hands clasped in front of her. “I’m not going to lie and tell you that it will be easy, accommodating to your new lifestyle.” She smiles wryly. “But I can recommend a wonderful ‘wolf psychiatrist who will be a tremendous help.”

Geno nudges Sid, smiling with his tongue between his teeth. “Hear that, Sid? I’m gonna turn into big fluffy wolf anytime I want.” He grins at Dr. Rivera. “Gonna annoy her so much.”

“I’m gonna start buying dog food if you do it too much,” Sid rolls her eyes. She turns back to Dr. Rivera. “But he’s going to be okay? He can go home now?”

Dr. Rivera looks between them carefully. “We would like to keep him until tomorrow-”

Sidney straightens up and opens her mouth, ready to argue, but stands down when Dr. Rivera raises her hand.

“But,” she continues, close to giving Sid the stink-eye, “I know you have a wonderful medical team on staff that you will be using,” she eyes them both critically as if daring them to not take advantage of Dr. Vyas and his team, “and no doubt Sidney will alert everyone she can at even the slightest hint that something may be wrong.”

She’s not wrong, but Sid leans back into the couch like a scolded child anyway. Geno squeezes her hand and she squeezes back. “So that’s a yes,” she asks carefully.

“Yes, Sidney,” Dr. Rivera answers dryly. “I’m saying you two can go home as soon as I get your discharge papers ready. Can you sit tight until then?”

Sidney thought she’d be full of boundless energy at hearing that, but instead she finds that she just wants to curl up in Geno’s comforting warmth for the rest of forever.

“Yes,” he answers for them. “We can be patient. Won’t move any muscles.”

Dr. Rivera breaks out into the warmest smile Sidney’s seen since she first greeted them. “That’s very comforting to hear, Mr. Malkin. It shouldn’t take more than an hour, but that still gives you plenty of time to become fit for civilization again.” When she stands, Sidney stands with her, and walks her to the door.

“I wanted to apologize,” Sidney says, folding and unfolding her arms. “I know I’m not an easy person to deal with at the best of times, but with this-” Sidney screws her eyes shut and presses her lips together. “I’m sorry I made it harder for you to take care of him.”

Dr. Rivera wraps her in a warm, tight hug. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” she whispers fiercely. “This was an extremely stressful situation, and you reacted exactly how anyone would, in your shoes.” She pulls back and cradles Sidney’s face in her hands. “In fact, if our roles were reversed, I can assure you I would’ve been much worse.” She kisses Sidney square on the forehead, gives Geno a quick wave good-bye, and is out the door, her coat swishing behind her.

“So,” Sidney starts, turning around and closing the door behind her. “When we’re out of here, what do you want for dinner?”

Geno’s boisterous laugh probably wakes up half their hall, but Sidney can’t find it in herself to give a damn.


End file.
